News at 11

The NBC local news reader introduced a report on xmas retail sales with:
"so, just how many of you got off the couch and went to the mall?"

That's cynical. I laughed.

Later on, the news reader told us: "The two survivors in the tiger attack at San Francisco Zoo have lawyered-up"

Made me laugh again. That's very Law and Order.

Now could you please write some cynical political news?